Being Otherkin around Non-Otherkin

[TheSovereignDragoness]

Greetings all,

 This is my first topic I have ever done so my apologies in advance if it seems awkward.
 I want to start this by saying that I'd love to hear your own experiences as well as if you can relate to any of this.
 Since becoming aware of what specific kintype I am back in 2019 (Dragon mostly and some lupine) I have discovered a problem: maintaining a "normal" enough mind in order to still fit in with humans. My mind is exclusively dragon, but I have to shut it down, so to speak, while in social situations. It is very difficult, and the tendency to be the traits of my kintype often causes the majority of humans to reject me and/or treat me as if I were crazy, all because I think differently than they do. It has led to my being either bullied or treated as if I were a problem to their social circle rather than merely wanting to just fit in as I am and be accepted for what I am.
 Can anyone else relate to this? Thank you for reading and for replying if you decide to do so.



**Photo in my post does not belong to me. It belongs to the original artist. I chose this photo because it most closely resembles how I look as a dragon**

[Arthfach]

Honestly? The best way that coping was ever explained to me that someone does is pretending that they're acting. Being human is just a role in an extended performance and we are all method actors whose job it is to pretend to be, at least somewhat, "normal" (as defined by the world).

[DoveWithScales]

I surround myself with people like us so that I don't have to pass for human. I no longer try. I'm just wholly myself.

But back when I had to play their games, especially when I got involved in politics, I made a game of it. I was a dragon in a human suit seeing how well I could fool the humans and manipulate them as if I was one of them.

[Haven]

Yeah, I also surround myself with others like us, and people who accept me as otherkin. I'm actually rather open about being a dragon.

In my family, we actually have a tradition of having an animal to identify with, so calling myself a dragon isn't considered strange. My grandmother calls herself a dragon too, in fact.

[DoveWithScales]

My siblings are both furries and know me as a dragon. In fact @MaroBones is one of them.

The rest of my social circle is predominately people I've met through the otherkin community. I just don't spend time around people who aren't going to accept me as my whole self.

But I can maintain that largely because my work as an editor and as a pagan priestess requires zero contact with the Straights.

[Arthfach]

(Today I learn you can do @name and it populates with the profile page. Nice!)

[TheSovereignDragoness]

I surround myself with people like us so that I don't have to pass for human. I no longer try. I'm just wholly myself.

But back when I had to play their games, especially when I got involved in politics, I made a game of it. I was a dragon in a human suit seeing how well I could fool the humans and manipulate them as if I was one of them.

Thank you for your experiences, Great One. Whenever I am forced to converse with humans, it takes immense effort not to discuss myself and instead play along as one of them. It unfortunately never works out for me. My genuine traits start to show through eventually and then they become confused and project their fears onto me.

[TheSovereignDragoness]

Yeah, I also surround myself with others like us, and people who accept me as otherkin. I'm actually rather open about being a dragon.

In my family, we actually have a tradition of having an animal to identify with, so calling myself a dragon isn't considered strange. My grandmother calls herself a dragon too, in fact.

Thank you for your experience, Haven. It's interesting to me the different ways we can indirectly be honest about ourselves but at the same time keep it hidden.

[TheSovereignDragoness]

Honestly? The best way that coping was ever explained to me that someone does is pretending that they're acting. Being human is just a role in an extended performance and we are all method actors whose job it is to pretend to be, at least somewhat, "normal" (as defined by the world).

That's a very good way to look at it. To me, the entire human "experience" has always kind of been like a play. Learning to camouflage oneself to the point of being no different from the rest. The only issue is those humans who manage to see through the act.

[dzamie]

As an aside, TSD, you can quote multiple posts in one forum post:

Honestly? The best way that coping was ever explained to me that someone does is pretending that they're acting. Being human is just a role in an extended performance and we are all method actors whose job it is to pretend to be, at least somewhat, "normal" (as defined by the world).

That's a very easy-to-understand analogy (especially to anyone who's been in customer service, and thus knows what it's like to turn that persona on and off). I like it.

-snip-
Thank you for your experiences, Great One. Whenever I am forced to converse with humans, it takes immense effort not to discuss myself and instead play along as one of them. It unfortunately never works out for me. My genuine traits start to show through eventually and then they become confused and project their fears onto me.

I can relate to the "hard not to talk about yourself" thing (case in point). One of the reasons small talk is useful to practice; it's a comfortable neutral ground while you and your fellow interlocutor try to gauge how well your social personalities fit at a safe distance.

[Arthfach]

As an aside, TSD, you can quote multiple posts in one forum post:

Honestly? The best way that coping was ever explained to me that someone does is pretending that they're acting. Being human is just a role in an extended performance and we are all method actors whose job it is to pretend to be, at least somewhat, "normal" (as defined by the world).

That's a very easy-to-understand analogy (especially to anyone who's been in customer service, and thus knows what it's like to turn that persona on and off). I like it.

I'm glad it works for you. It helped me understand a LOT that just hadn't made sense until that explanation - then I got it and started to understand how to navigate through the world with it. It's also made it easier for me to accept my inner, real, me because I can know that I'm just wearing an elaborate costume to fit the rules but it doesn't mean I have to BE that character.